Car crashes and second chances...scenes from a trauma center

I'm standing in my backyard.
It seems to be raining and my friends are all standing there.
I'm really not sure what is going on, and I feel like I don't want to.
My best friend Jason walks up to me and starts talking.
His hands are on fire and his voice is blaring loud.
I don't know what he's saying until he grabs me and screams into my ears.
-Level One Pediatric Trauma in the ER

My head flies up and I nearly fall off my chair.
I blink, my eyes focus.
It's 3:30 am in the ER, FDNY Paramedics just gave notification of an incoming MVA.
The loud speakers blare for the trauma team to haul ass.
I'm sitting at the nurses station, charts piled around me, I was sleeping on a few of them.
I can taste Marlboro's and coffee in my mouth and my muscles ache as I rise from the chair.
I see the gurney crash through the ambulance bay doors as I round the corner.
My feet pick up pace now, I'm sprinting.
I fly around the corner and through the doors of the trauma bay.
Doctors and nurses are scrambling, meds are flying everywhere. Beeps and buzzers go off to a manic rhythm.
My head is spinning.
In the center of it all is a child, not much older than then years old, lifeless, chest barely rising to gulp in air.
I'm putting on gloves, I feel my heart trip hammers, my body goes into autopilot.
I'm screaming, I'm running, vials of blood in my hand, meds in my pockets being thrown left and right.
The crash cart slams against a wall, I threw it there. I didn't realize when they asked for it I'd thrown it so hard.
I'm screaming into a phone, ordering the doctors' needs. CT scans, X-Rays, an OR.
My heart skips a beat.
The buzzers stop, the beeps cease. Only a loud and steady squeal. Then the scream comes.
I was hoping it wouldn't.
I was hoping for a happy ending.
I had hope.
I'm a fool, such a fool.
-ASYSTOLE! PUSH THE EPI!
The room is alive, pure energy.
I'm stepping back, they all move swiftly.
A voice echoes in my head, my own.
-Hell is here. Hell is now.

I've got nothing else to do but watch in horror as it all unfolds.
Screaming, pumping, pushing, grabbing all around.
It's a bleed. Hypovolemic shock. Blood hangs. It pumps.
It pumps.
The monitor beeps.
I snap out of it. I pick up the phone.
I'm screaming
-She's stable, we're in CT in 60 seconds, be ready for us cause we're flying. Straight to the OR after.
I hang up and nod, they're rolling.

It's 6:30 am. I'm back at the nurses station filing charts and putting in orders for bloodwork.
An attending is drilling a resident on reason for seizure due to toxicological reasons.
She looks up, I can almost see the little people running around her head. Opening filing cabinets, desperately searching for the answers.
I speak up in a quiet voice
-Camphor, snake venom, and Methanol are a few of the exotic ones.
The resident's jaw drops.
The attending grins.
-Very good, very very good. See?
He points to me.
-He's just a premed student and he knows a few. You've got some reading to do.
The resident scurries off with a scowl and the attending sits next to me, looking through his patient list.
-Ya' know, for an ER clerk you were pretty impressive in the trauma tonight. You've got potential.
-I'm just doing what has to get done, Boris. Just what has to get done.
He smiles and starts admitting paperwork, I pick up the phone and yell at the tech's at the statlab.
It's late and we're all tired but they're the statlab and I'm the ER. It's the dance we always dance.

I walk out finally at 7:15 am.
The ambulance bay is empty and the morning crew is filing in.
I put on my sunglasses as the rays hit my eyes and light a smoke.
I smile and nod to the morning crew as I walk to my car, and I scream the lyrics of a song on repeat all the way home.

Now I'm here...and that was my night. Another night in the ER.

" I've watched you all succeed with the highest marks in greed
From my cave, where you're displayed like photographs that bleed
And my teeth grind names into their ivory membranes.
I am hate everlasting with each sickly spell I'm casting.

I discard all feelings.
The stars scar my ceiling.
Sun, I won't spare you. Moon, I won't spare you.

And my pain is mine. It's become my friend with time.
Chia-like, it grows. Watch it fester for my foes.
One day, I'm gonna get up and get right back into the city with my flamethrower mouth.
You bet your life it won't be pretty.

I discard all my feelings.
As the stars still scar my ceiling (oh)
I won't spare you. (Whoa) I, I won't spare you.

Photograph (bath), photograph (bath), photograph
Why'd you have to go and take a picture of a life like that?
You aren't new enough. I give up, I give up, I give up on you.

Look at you (you), look at you (you), look at you (you).
Pretty boy floating face down in a pond of glue.
You aren't new enough. We give up, we give up, we give up on all those like you.

I discard all feelings.
The stars scar my ceiling.
(Whoa) I won't spare you. (Whoa) I, I won't spare you.

(Won't spare you, won't spare you, won't spare you, I won't spare you)
I shall grow and grow...
I'll grow."
-Say Anything
"Chia like I shall grow"